Good-Bad-Good in 30 Minutes!

This is a comprehensive manual for designing a "Good-Bad-Good" plotline for your family conflicts!

Before we begin, I would like to tell you the plotline (in 30-seconds or less) of a Disney Channel show that I watched over the weekend. A girl lives with their family in a suburban house in San Francisco. Girl has psychic vision, which causes her to make incorrect decisions on an almost daily basis. In this one particular episode, the girl sees herself going on a date with a guy she likes from school, but her vision shows that she must sabatoge the opening of her dads restaurant, so that she can go on the date. Girl sabatoges the restaurant opening day by leaving the refrigerator door open overnight so that all of the food is spoiled. After discovering the ruined food, depressed father goes out to eat with the rest of the family and it just so happens that he sees his daughter with the boy she likes. She confesses, apologizes, and, miraculously, the store opens the next night. Everyone is happy.

Does anyone else see anything wrong with that story? Its disgusting! I always used to wonder why my family had to be different from every Disney Channel family that ever existed. I would watch television, get in trouble, then expect a simple apology to make up for what I had done. Instead, the lectures I've received and the punishments that result are lengthier than any of the half-hour family-based shows out there. So there you have it: the basic plotline for a Good-Bad-Good family moment. As attractive as it seems, television obviously didn't do anything for my perception on the world or family dynamics. I don't know about any of you out there but my family has never been one to move on easily. We go through the whole "I'm sorry" thing like a hundred times, go over all infractions that are remotely related, and, finally, work out a solution. I've been subjected to "discussions" that were 2 hours long! The very idea of discussing what we did wrong is enough to keep me from stepping out of line. Yet, for some reason, we continue to be entertained by family conflicts that build, then erupt, then settle, all in a span of 25 minutes (if you discount the commerical breaks). It wasn't so much the ridiculousness of the shows that pissed me off, it was the fact that my life had to be so different than what was portrayed. I used to question the show, "Is that what happens in mainland families? Is my family just abnormal?" But why DO we watch television shows with plotlines that can be resolved in 5 seconds with such numbness? Is it because scenarios like those represent something that we can never have, but love to fantasize about? For me, it is the building up of the plot that attracts me the most strongly. I can love a show for the first 20 minutes then despise it when the finale comes. I sit numbly because I don't let my upset thoughts interupt my half an hour of thoughtlessness.

What about scenarios where the child and a/both parents clash with the child making a final remark that apparently leaves the adults stunned, before running off? How realistic is that situation? It certainly doesn't happen in my family, I've tried to shout, "Well maybe I wouldn't be like this if you hadn't put so much pressure on me!"--a common "final" remark--before storming off to my room. I've tried it many times, yet my parents always demand that I come back. The worst part is that I listen! No matter what I say they are never stunned to the point of just letting me run off. Their first instinct is to demand I return and "respect" them. Television life is SO not like real life. If I ever see a show/movie where the scenario actually reflects mine, I will be very suprised. How many people want to watch a family fight go on for 2 hours? But still I wonder why my family isn't like those in the tv. Is it because my parents are pretty hardcore with the asian-Christian, discipline/"respect your parents" thing? I haven't really discussed this inconsistency with anyone because I don't want anyone to think my parents are nuts, but it would be interesting to explore further sometime.

One side of me is pleased that my parents have always taken such affirmative action against my disrepectful behavior because I will be better for it sooner or later, but the other side of me wishes that they could cut me some slack for once. If our family was like those in tv shows, I would also learn lessons the first time around (also unrealistic?!) and our family would always be happy by the end of the day. In real life, however, I think I get to appreciate my parents' efforts more when I look back and realize how much effort they put into disciplining me each time they went over my rule-breaking. Their efforts look more exemplary and I can give them more credit, whereas if I always learned my lessons the first time around, the credit would go to me. Ultimately, I guess, its useless to dream about what is unrealistic in my household. Right now, the system we have is all that I've ever known and I'm definitely indebted to my parents for shaping me--whittling me down everytime we clashed and I lost. Am I envious of the "Good-Bad-Good in 30 Minutes" plotline? Of course! But I've just learned to come to terms with its conditions--that it only works in television--and I look at what I have with a new sense of gratitude! Yay! :D