Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Post 4...3 more to go...

This year, I took AP Psychology, hoping to learn about the way we think and stuff. What I didn't realize was how complex and complicated psychology is. Anyway, one topic that really interested me was "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs". Abraham Maslow was a famous psychologist who studied human motivation in the mid-20th century. One of his most famous theories is his "Hierarchy of Needs", shown above, which places the roots of our motivation in a pyramid arrangement starting with the most pressing on the bottom, to the most important on the top. According to his theory, upper tiers cannot be accomplisted without the fulfillment of the lower requirements. In case the picture is not too clear/does not appear, from the bottom, our needs and source of motivation are: physiological, safety, love/belonging, self esteem, and, finally, self actualization.

So I took a look at the pyramid and tried to identify where I am on my quest for self fulfillment. Unfortunately, I didn't have to look very far in order to i.d. where I stand. Physiological needs are the basic needs of human survival. We cannot go on to protecting our safety if we're starving to death--I have this category down! Haha the next tier is safety needs, referring to security of "body, employment, resources, morality, family, health, property". This category is also pretty solid since all of it can be achieved with the collective interaction between my parents and myself. As for the next tier...this is where I fall...hard! "Love/Belonging" calls for family relationships, friendships, and sexual intimacy. So far, so bad. But I don't expect to have this category down pat. [I think Maslow's pyramid is suppossed to apply to adults or people who have the time/resources to devote their lives to getting deep with their feelings/other people.] I'm 18 and on the threshold of an adult life so it won't be long before the pyramid will start applying for me. As a student, however, I'm not suppossed to be looking for my soulmate just yet, but trying to foster a healthy family environment is very much a priority for anyone. I think my mother knows this well. She has always tried to bring our family together around the dinner table (which is pretty much the only time we have, due to other commitments) where we talk and eat and just let the conversation go where it wants. It is because of her that I think that my family relationships are pretty healthy, and definitely reinforced. As for friendships, I do have friends and we are close, so I guess I've got that squared away.

The part of this category that doesn't work for me is sexual intimacy. "What the hell?" is more precisely what I was thinking when I was trying to see if I fulfilled the category. Yes, its true that people my age are doing "it" already and we haven't been taught at Punahou NOT to do it, so I guess it wouldn't be a shocker if I said I DID do "it" (I haven't, by the way). Should this be an acceptable part of my identity or the quest for self actualization? What part of sex makes it an identifier for a person? How good they are? Haha okay I'm getting uncomfortable now so I'll just stop.

As I looked towards the next step (self esteem), I realized that I do not have a healthy self-esteem. It is hard for me to go through life without insecurities. Who doesn't? A shaky foundation will definitely impair ones ability to move up Maslow's pyramid. I am insecure about lots of things: the shape of my head, the size of my feet, the beauty mark on my inner arm, my nice handwriting, the clothes I'm wearing, my lack of conversational skills, etc. How does one work past all of their fears and become secure with themselves? My mother always used to tell me that, "Other peoples' opinions don't matter--if it works for you than be happy with what you have." Living under your insecurities leads to suppression of who you are and it is freaky to think that invisible worries can affect the physical part of you. Worries are concocted thoughts so why are they so difficult to eliminate? I borderline on paranoia sometimes. I can't stop thinking about what other people are saying to each other about me. I wonder if they're judging me, because I sometimes judge them, or maybe they're starring at me with their preconceived thoughts and biases. Going to school at a mostly caucasian school next year has definitely started to weigh on me. Coming from Punahou where the majority of students are of some color, I don't know what to expect! I haven't been to a different school in 11 years, and certainly never to a school where diversity is measured by shades of white. How will I adjust, being the only asian kids in my dorm? Will I stick with the other asian kids or will I be able to integrate myself with all haoles? I don't want to believe it but, even if I do become friends with caucasian kids, I know I'll be self conscious that I'm the only asian in the group. Hawaii prepares you well for embracing diversity, but it does horribly at preparing us for the mainland where diversity is either "in" (UC Schools, California in general, MIT, etc) or "out" (Colgate<--my school, midwestern schools, schools in the middle of nowhere). So now that I've listed some of my insecurities and examined, to a comfortable extent, one of my future worries, I'm done.