I went to Colgate University in New York for my first year of college. Colgate is in a little town called Hamilton, where the only block of houses is frat row. Because the town is so small, there really isn’t a lot of stuff to do if the frats aren’t hosting parties, so the majority of the action happens on campus at the dorms. For my nineteenth birthday I wanted to do something extra special, so I declared the week of my birthday, “My birthday week” and decided to go out partying every night. The only thing I enjoyed more than going to parties was hosting parties, so the night before my birthday I decided to host a huge party in my suite. My roommates were all for free alcohol and they helped me rearrange the room for a beirut (beer pong) tournament, while one of my friends volunteered to bartend and DJ. I bought $300 worth of alcohol and invited a ton of people. The party was a huge success and everyone was drunk and having a great time. At some point during the party I blacked out. The last thing I remembered was dumping a cup of cheap beer on some random girl’s head while screaming “See You Again,” by Miley Cyrus.
The next morning, the day of my birthday, I woke up to find that I was lying in the middle of the common room in our suite. The room was a total mess and there were random semi- or fully naked people lying around on top of each other. My head was throbbing and my stomach was really churning, so I pulled on a pair of boots and stumbled outside. The main cafeteria was located right next to my dorm, so I didn’t bother putting on a jacket or long pants. I was so disoriented that I walked in to the cafeteria without examining myself before I entered.
The first sign that something was amiss came when I checked in. The lady who takes the I.D. cards and swipes them to let you in smiled and said, “Good morning,” to the girls in front, but when she saw me, her jaw dropped and her face darkened. She took my card without a word and raised her eyebrows. I was so out of it that I only half noticed, but when I got in line to get breakfast, the people around me started snickering and laughing. I looked around to see who they were laughing at, but there was no one else around, so I glanced over at my reflection in the mirror behind the counter and dropped my tray on the floor, spilling eggs and potatoes everywhere. My hair was, was sticky, as if I used gel, but I know I didn’t the night before and there was something hanging from the back of my head! I swung my head around to look and a used condom swung and hit the side of my face! I was so shocked I just stood there and slowly raised my hand up to touch it. Whose was it? Was it mine? Did I do something while I was blacked out? The condom was still moist, but when I tried to yank it out of my hair it was stuck! Suddenly I was fully awake. I covered it with my hand, ran to the bathroom and dunked my head into the sink. To get the damn thing out I had to massage my hair until I got the stickiness out. A couple of guys walked in and saw me holding the condom with one hand, so they backed out slowly. Needless to say, I didn’t show my face in the cafeteria for a month afterwards…
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