You've got to feel sorry for Paris Hilton. The girl’s got nothing going for her! Sure, she’s rich and famous, but her personal life sucks. Everyone knows she’s a pseudo-celebrity with no talent and no sense of morals or dignity. Paris came out of the dusty old uterus of the devil Kathy Hilton, wife of Hilton Hotel’s magnate, Richard Hilton. Paris has been all over the world, from Greece, where she slept with Stavros Niarchos III, to Sweeden where she hooked up with model, Alex Vaggo (do what you want with that last name). I don’t mean to be derogatory—ok, I do—but the girl has been in every semi-famous guy’s pants, except Lance Bass. She can’t act, sing, produce, model, dress, release a decent sex tape or go anywhere without the paparazzi trying to take pictures of the monster between her thighs. Recently, Hilton has been going through a particularly tough time. She broke up with her longtime boyfriend of three months, Doug Reinhardt; watched as her grandfather virtually cut her out of his will; and got sued…again!
Paris can take solace in the fact that her reality television show, “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF,” has been renewed, with British and Dubai versions of the show to debut soon. MTV, which has a reputation for releasing unoriginal, low-budget, brain-numbing productions, somehow found a way to make Paris look even…blonder. On “My New BFF,” Paris puts twelve potential “best friends forever” through ridiculous tests to see if they are ready to live by her side in the fast lane to hell. Anyone watching the show knows that the heiress isn’t going to pick any of them at the end, just so she can force MTV to renew her contract, just like how rapper Flavor Flav and “head bitch in charge” (H.B.I.C.), "New York," purposely reject all of the contestants on their own shows. I’ve only seen one episode of “My New BFF,” but I am convinced that it is the worst show on television.
Reason number one: Paris Hilton can never be BFF’s with a “normal” person. She always has to party with the most dysfunctional, wasted, talentless ho’s in Hollywood. Tabloids have caught her with fellow “famous-for-being-messed-up” gal pals Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Nicole Ritchie. After seeing who she hangs out with, is there anyone out there stupid enough to actually believe that she would pick a person who doesn’t have rich parents or the alcohol tolerance of a keg, to be her BFF? Apparently, the people who apply to be on the show have no problem sucking up to Paris, and Paris herself has no problem letting them worship the ground she walks on. Because it is impossible for someone to actually win the show, there is no point to the show, except to put Paris on display as she makes fun of the lowlifes who beg for her friendship.
Reason number two: Paris Hilton is not a role model. What kind of girl would want to have Paris Hilton’s life? Although she’s rich, no amount of money can hide that truth that she’s probably got a ton of STDs from all those guys she’s been with. Paris calls herself an “entrepreneur,” but it seems like all of her projects tank. When you look at her face, she looks like a drag queen, and when she speaks, all those around her lose 10 IQ points. Come on, MTV, making a mockery of a poor fugly girl who wants to be MADE into a rapper is one thing, but putting Paris Hilton, who has absolutely nothing to contribute to society, on television is an admission that our country has gone off the deep end.
Reason number three: Paris Hilton has no right to advertise that she knows what true friends are. How can she judge who her real friends are, when so many of the guys she dates are only “tapping that” for the private jets, admittance to Hollywood clubs and free hotel stays? Unlike other shows like “The Bachelor/Bachelorette,” the elimination decisions are made by Paris without the help of a creepy assistant man who stands in the corner of every shot. When she sends someone home, she bats her eyelashes, cocks her head and gives the rejected BFF a fake hug. Before they are out of the range of the camera, Paris leans forward in her throne and talks s**t about them behind their back. This comes only minutes after Paris tells the group how much their honesty, sincerity and truthfulness matters to her and how, if her BFF were to talk s**t about her, she would be devastated. I’m convinced that the only way someone can go on TV and behave that way is if they are stoned out of their mind, which I would never put past Paris Hilton.
Other shows that I find appalling:
1. The Hills – the scripted-unscripted show that lifted “Speidi” out of its home behind the toilet
2. I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! – a show about people that don’t even count as celebrities
3. My Super Sweet 16 – fake, spoiled-rotten kids, most of whom are fat, ugly, and/or cross-eyed
4. Maui Fever – inaccurately portrayed Hawaii as a place full of rich haoles with petty "girl problems"
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